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The title says it all. I am a complete dummy and I grabbed one of my best friends who might even be a bigger dummy than me and we set sail into the high limit Slots room. You all know Bluff I don't have to introduce him, but I do have to introduce him to Slots. As you know, he really only plays craps and other table games so he does not understand the rush of a $10 spin possibly turning into $1 million. We scavenged all of the dumpsters in the area to find enough hundred dollar bills to feed into enough high stake slot machines to give ourselves the best chance possible. Which is of course still not a very good chance because when you gamble you will lose. The only form of gambling you cannot lose is watching me gamble so you might as well subscribe and like the video. I love you all so much if you watch this entire thing, you're beautiful and if you didn't, you're also beautiful. Thank you guys so much for everything. I will never be able to thank you enough. YOURE GORGEOUS! #money #gambling #slots #bluff #casino #comedy Brettski leaned against the slot machine with the nonchalance of a man who'd danced with both fortune and failure. Bluff, wide-eyed and clutching a crisp stack of bills, stood beside him like a rookie gunslinger. "You ready?" Brettski asked, grinning as he lit a toothpick between his teeth. Bluff nodded, slipping a thousand into the glowing beast in front of them. “I still don’t get it. How do you *teach* someone slots?” “You don’t,” Brettski said, hitting the *Max Bet* button with flair. “You teach 'em *how to ride the chaos.*" The reels spun, flashing symbols that blurred into neon storms. Cherry. BAR. 7. Miss. They moved machine to machine like gamblers on a pilgrimage. On one, they hit a quick $600 win. Bluff hollered. Brettski didn’t blink. “You don’t get excited till you’re up five figures,” Brettski said, sliding over to a buffalo-themed slot. “That’s when the machine fears you.” By hour two, Bluff was down to $200. Brettski, somehow, was up $400. They sat in silence at a Chinese dragon machine, the tension electric. Bluff cracked his knuckles. “Alright. This is the one.” Brettski nodded, feeding in his last bill. “Let’s light it up.” The reels spun. One dragon. Two. Three. Lights exploded. Bells rang. The screen flashed *BONUS ROUND UNLOCKED*. They looked at each other, stunned. “Dude…” Bluff whispered. “Did we just—?” But before they could celebrate, the machine glitched. The screen froze mid-flash. A low electronic hum replaced the music. A casino attendant approached, walkie-talkie crackling. “Sorry fellas,” she said, frowning at the screen. “Gotta get tech down here.” Bluff’s mouth dropped open. Brettski’s toothpick fell to the carpet. They stared at the frozen jackpot numbers glowing faintly behind the error message. And just like that, everything hung in the balance.
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Casino Royale 2006 James Bond 007 conversation between Denial Craig and Eva Green I'm the money. Every penny of it. The Treasury has agreed to stake you in the game. "Vesper." Well, I do hope you gave your parents hell for that. Thank you. Your boss must be well-connected. I've never seen so much go out the door so quickly. Or quite so stylishly. May I ask you where it is? Ten million was wired to your account in Montenegro... ...with a contingency for 5 more if I deem it a prudent investment. I suppose you've given some thought to the notion that if you lose... ...our government will have directly financed terrorism. What looks good? So you're telling me it's a matter of probability and odds. I was worried there was some chance involved. Well, only if you assume the player with the best hand wins. So that would be what you call "bluffing"? You've heard the term. Then you'll also know that in poker you never play your hand. You play the man across from you. And you're good at reading people? Yes, I am. Which is why I've been able to detect... ...an undercurrent of sarcasm in your voice. I'm now assured our money is in good hands. You don't think this is a very good plan, do you? So there is a plan? I got the impression we were risking millions of dollars... ...and hundreds of lives on a game of luck. What else can you surmise, Mr. Bond? About you, Miss Lynd? Well, your beauty's a problem. You worry you won't be taken seriously. Which one can say of any attractive woman with half a brain. True, but this one overcompensates... ...by wearing slightly masculine clothing... ...being more aggressive than her female colleagues... ...which gives her a somewhat prickly demeanor... ...and ironically enough, makes it less likely for her to be accepted... ...and promoted by her male superiors... ...who mistake her insecurities for arrogance. Now, I'd have normally gone with only child... ...but, you see, by the way you ignored the quip about your parents... ...I'm gonna have to go with orphan. All right. By the cut of your suit, you went to Oxford or wherever... ...and actually think human beings dress like that. But you wear it with such disdain... ...my guess is you didn't come from money... ...and your school friends never let you forget it. Which means you were at that school by the grace... ...of someone else's charity, hence the chip on your shoulder. And since your first thought about me ran to orphan... ...that's what I'd say you are. Oh, you are. I like this poker thing. And that makes perfect sense... ...since MI6 looks for maladjusted young men... ...that give little thought to sacrificing others... ...in order to protect Queen and country. You know... ...former SAS types with easy smiles and expensive watches. Rolex? Omega. Beautiful. Now, having just met you... ...I wouldn't go as far as calling you a cold-hearted bastard. No, of course not. But it wouldn't be a stretch to imagine. You think of women as disposable pleasures... ...rather than meaningful pursuits. So as charming as you are, Mr. Bond... ...I will be keeping my eye on our government's money... ...and off your perfectly formed arse. You noticed? Even accountants have imagination. How was your lamb? Skewered. One sympathizes. Good evening, Mr. Bond. Good evening, Miss Lynd.
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